Dear God,
dear people,
dear anyone who reads this,
I can't seem to calm down these days, and I mean it in a bad way.
My anxiety level keeps increasing, my heart beats fast as if I'm running — I haven't even had my usual dose of caffeine today.
This past few weeks I kept losing sleep at night even though I was tired from work. Even until last night, each time I closed my eyes, I thought of things that never happened: I imagined scenarios with people I used to be close with but not anymore; I imagined talking to them about stuff I wished I could talk to them about.
Even at day when I'm awake, words and thoughts are all jumbled in my head, altogether rushing to come out. Sickening. I feel like I want to throw up all the time.
I do want them to come out; I don't know how to make it happen.
It's like I can't organize my mind at all.
But worst of all, whenever I try to sleep, I constantly feel like someone's watching me.
It's most likely impossible, I know that. Even if it's true I can't even tell because I don't have some kind of supernatural ability.
I'm stressed... I think, I just don't know why.
There must be some demon I've yet to uncover that ravels under my subconsciousness and crawl under my brain.
I think I need help.
Help.
Sunday, December 3, 2017
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