Friday, February 5, 2016

Sekelebat usai

December 2015
During the first 4 months when he was gone, never for a second did I think to visit him, even for vacation, because I thought it was going to take up all my money and I thought I was going to be very busy working on my final paper on the winter holidays (yea sure we don't have winter here in SEA but the time fits so I use that term).

Not exactly.

The main reason why I didn't want to go was because I remembered how hard it was for me the day he got on the plane and I just didn't want to feel that way again.

Until suddenly I told my friend who loves traveling,
"Hey, let's go to Kuala Lumpur."

I don't know and didn't know what's gotten into me, but she said yes, so we went. It was crazy. My first overseas trip, on a whim, even. Contrasted all the principal I had before.

So a month in advance we bought tickets, browsed for hotels, booked a 3-star hotel so very close to a monorail station (and a quite big mall apparently!), everything was so fun. I got every documents printed and put them together in a clear folder so I wouldn't forget them. Every time I saw it I got even more excited, thinking, "can the day come any faster?".

I knew at the end it was going to hurt again, but I thought I was ready for it.

January 2016
New year's eve and new year's day passed by with me reminiscing 2015's new year's eve, when I spent it together with him and his friends, barbecuing stuff.

So then it was the time to depart. I had fun; I met him, finally, after 5 months. He was healthy, but he looked so thin. He took me to the airport when it was time for me to go home. It was fucked up alright but I held back everything because it was crowded with people in the airport and on the airplane. I only burst out on the way home in the cab, watching the familiar streets thinking in my head, "how the hell did I get here again so fast, as if the last 5 days didn't happen?". But of course I quickly stopped weeping so my mom wouldn't see my face all puffy like the moon.

Even now I still have the e-tickets in my bookshelf. Those exciting days waiting for go-time, the journey, it's almost like they never happened.

It's so strange how these things work out.

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