Saturday, November 28, 2015

Come and find me

Lately, I just realized that all my life I've been playing hide and seek.
With myself.
Just like everyone else.

Some child psychologists may say that the time to find your passion is when you're a teenager. It's the time to figure out what you want to do in the far future. Maybe it's theoretically correct.

Maybe at some point at that age you did, but maybe after a while you find it misleading.
And then you feel lost amidst the responsibility you have to take in that misleading path.

In my case, it was when I decided to major in psychology.
Don't get me wrong, I like what I learn. That was and is still the reason why I'm here in this faculty.
But I realized: it was never what I want to do for a living. I only love the knowledge and lessons, I like to apply them in my everyday life. But not as a paid job.

So I had a sip of coffee, reminisced, and thought:
You might find yourself in the coffee grounds in the bottom of your cup.
You might find yourself in the song you accidentally hear.
You might find yourself in the words of a friend.
You might find yourself while contemplating about life, in the middle of bath... or while taking a dump.
But like one of my favorite bands said, "the answer is inside of me". (The band is One Ok Rock, btw).

In my case, I found myself while managing my online store, while mulitaskingly doing my homeworks. I thought, "isn't this what I always wanted to do, having my own business?".

I remember when I was still in elementary school, I pictured myself owning a two-story shop: in the first floor is a clothing store and in the second floor is a cafe where I hold a live music show every weekend.
Thereafter, I've always been conducting online stores selling stuff I like: tote bags, girls' accessories,  clothes, and stationeries. Even now I'm still doing that, only this time I own the brand and I make the stuff myself (along with my friend).
And even now coffee is still my favorite beverage.

So maybe you're not a teenager anymore when you find yourself.
Maybe you're already on that "misleading" path.
Maybe you'll think "I'm too old to do that".
And that's totally okay. You can still pursue your dream by doing it, or something that's related to it. As long as you're being your truest self.
The important thing is so you won't have any regret in the end of your life.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I have to find myself, so the hide-and-seek game will be over.

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